sorry for the lapse between posts, my friends. i've been busy getting settled in nashville, getting an idea of what my life looks like now. or trying to, anyway. it keeps changing on me.
those of you i've talked to in the last week or so might be surprised at the title of this post. there are definitely things happening that i wouldn't call "good" by any stretch of the imagination. and yet, God has been revealing His goodness to me through so many different things these last weeks. we've been studying the process of change in the Christian life in my small group, and it's been such a great fit with where i am right now. this week especially, i'm not sure i even recognize myself sometimes. but don't worry, it's in a good way. i'm facing some things right now that previously would have knocked me down pretty hard. but this time, instead of letting it collapse me, i stopped. i looked at my life and reminded myself that just because this is happening doesn't mean God has abandoned me. it doesn't mean i shouldn't have moved to nashville, or that this is where the bottom falls out. it only means i live in a world where nothing is as it should be. where everything is tainted with sin, and all i can do is respond to it in a godly way. i've been blessed with some amazing friends here, people who have helped remind me that it will be okay, have prayed with me, and have offered practical solutions to my physical needs. i'm telling you, nebraska friends, God is seriously moving in this community down here. it's wonderfully unnatural, the way people band together and become family out here.
looking back at this past week, it's a mess of every imaginable emotion. in the past, i would have called it terrible. but now, here, i can't look at the difficulty without seeing the blessing. opportunities to build relationships with incredible people, and chances to see God work His plan through tears and brokeness, through ugliness and pain, to redeem it all for His glory. i look around me and can do nothing but fall on my face in awe and praise. every glance reveals another chance to be blown away by this radical Savior that would love me enough not only to die for me, but to bless me as well. to bless me in my sinful, selfish, human skin, just because of His love. i have no words. it's a breathtaking experience, discovering Him like this. and in response to who He is, i find strength to be who He made me to be. i'm doing it, finally. i pushed back. and God helped me stand.
