Brave

I feel like i should apologize to all of you. lately, i've been journaling the old-fashioned way, putting pen to paper and spending some time with my God and my thoughts out in the beautiful weather we've had lately. but never fear, i won't leave you for to long. i've got too many thoughts to sort through these days.

last week, i had 4 weeks before this journey takes off. i don't know how, but somewhere between there and here, just over 3 weeks out, i must have missed a few days, because it certainly seems so much closer now. in less than a month, i'll be out in nashville, spreading my resume like wildfire and trying to follow whatever this path is that God has for me. and while i'm so excited to go, it's setting in a little that i'll be really far from my family. and that's going to be harder than i realize, i'm sure. it's hard to think of only seeing my parents once or twice a year. i'll really be all alone in a bigger city than i've ever lived in. and i'm praying that God will put people in my path quickly to let me form some fast relationships. but it's one of those things that just takes time.

i'm not even sure i can put words on this feeling i have right now. it's a mix of so many things. and i still have 3 more weeks to add to these nerves! i'm knocking on the door of impossible things, of dreams and callings, of uncertain, incredible fulfillment. if i sound like a broken record over the next weeks, forgive me. i'm pretty stuck in this cycle of thoughts were i continuously have to stop myself from stressing, and remember that God has called me out there. He will make a way for me to go where i need to go. and once i'm out there, He still won't leave me. the only reason i can show any bravery in the face of this anxiety is because i know that God is carrying me. i mean enough to Him that He would care for me and know all of my days, but not enough that my shortcomings could sabotage His plans.

if you're reading this, i'd really appreciate prayers at this point. if you could, pray that God leads me clearly and opens just the right doors for me to follow Him. also, brandon heath has my demo, and the tour he was on had its last stop yesterday. i'm hoping to hear back from him this week, so if you could all pray for that connection to be made, that would be great. i'll keep you posted.