Finding Me

it's been a bit since i've written, hasn't it? i feel like everything's happening so fast. it's almost april, for pete's sake! (don't ask me who pete is, i'm not sure myself) i was looking over the current worship schedule for my church last week; it runs through june. it hit me that, if all goes as planned, i won't get another worship schedule. i'd like to move at the end of june. i guess i'm just really starting to feel it, to understand how soon it could be. of course, nothing says it's going to go that way. i might be stuck moving back in with my parents (Lord help us all!) if things don't work out. but odds are good that i won't be here anymore.

i've lived here almost 3 years, and i'm just now starting to feel like i fit. i've ended up in a church that feels like home, a place undoubtedly divine for where God wants my life right now. this is the place where God put the pieces to help move me forward, a way and a place to record, talented musicians to work with, and some people who support this crazy dream of mine. these people, this place, has helped me find who i am. the more i write, the move i invest in my music, the more i find myself, as God intended me to be. i see so much more clearly the woman He made me to be. for the first time, i know what to do with my life. i know what i'm made for now. and apparently it shows. several of my friends have commented on how well i sound now that i'm really pursuing this. i found my purpose, and it's made all the difference.

but it's that very thing, that purpose, that takes me away from here. and i'm okay with that this time. in years past, when i thought about leaving, i was terrified. but now, i know it's okay. i know God has other plans for me. as much as i am so grateful for everything and everyone that i've found here, i'm still excited to move on. to go where i've been sent. to be who i'm made to be. and i must leave behind the ones who have helped me to see that. it makes me sad to think of leaving everything i've found here. praise the Lord we live in an age with technology that helps us keep in touch from almost anywhere. whatever happens with this music of mine, i owe it to the people here, those who have encouraged me to reach for the impossible. i can't thank you enough.