so here i am, less than 6 weeks away from my trip to my future. It occured to me that nowhere in this blog did i actually say that i got the opportunity to hand a copy of my demo to brandon heath, an artist that i really respect. he game me his email adress so we could try to keep in touch and maybe hang out when i'm in nashville. right now, i'm just waiting to give him some to listen to the demo, and hoping he'll get back to me without losing it or forgetting it or something like that. so of course, every day seems like it takes forever. i'm dying to write him, to see if he likes the songs. to see if he'll let me shadow him while i'm down there. and if i can do that, then maybe, if i'm really lucky, i might have more than one friend there when i go to move.
so here's the catch: i'm completely broke. i still need upwards of $350 to rent a car there so that i can hand out my resume in every place i can find. let alone the money to move. and yet, i know this is God's call for me. every day that goes by just affirms it. i know that my path leads to nashville. i just don't know how or when. with the people God's placed in my life at this point, it really seems iminent. the ball is definitely off and rolling now. and i've sold out to it. i know that, no matter how the next stage of my life happens, God made me for music, and i'm done running from it.
there's this crazy dichotomy between being sold out to this path, and the fact that there's no funding for it. my world quite literally rests in the balance of hope alone. for maybe the first time ever, i really trust God. i know that He is good, and that He is good to me. there are, of course, natural fears about moving. but i trust Him for this. i think. it's almost like i have no choice but to trust Him at this point. i'm past the point of return on this one, so if it falls, it's gonna be messy. so i choose to keep believing that God will make a way for it. if i don't follow Him, i have no hope at all.
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